Love, Barbara – a poem

Amanda, A new Year.
May we both be happier.

~~~~~~~~ a poem ~~~~~~~~~

free floating guilt
what did i do?
stop iT
did the dishes
baked a frozen apple pie
Full moon wednesday in – cancer.
Make a wish upon the moon, and
our wishes will find each other.

step by careful step,
all details done
changing like the wind.
fly off someplace ~ sometime
don’t give a fuck in general

him and her say things – and they
show themselves to be who they are.
we show ourselves to be who we are.
We are not what they say about us.

someone offers a brain download
that is a better SELF
what furthers our needs
and what does not

resolving / evolving.
SCREEN and check the upload.

remember
you have an incredibly strong will to live

OUR job …
living
solid
skilled -
healing
courage
writing
editing
birds
computer
photos
Patient

give good directions.
because you can
and I can
with moxie

falling – we both have. free fall

of the heart to depths that challenge
the will to live.

nemesises ours

fat

bright moments coming through
you can spell
We can fly

too many reasons to abandon self
cold and dark winter
days are getting longer now.

spring back – claim the truth and exist.

to spring back
so wounded,
to the depth of hell, return from the hell
we understand the illusions we lived by
burned away.
with courage.

nest / a higher view of things.
Grating – this hell trip, repeats until
you can rise up and fly.

The snake, comes up from hell
and illusions burned in fire
evolve; fly off; a free pheonix

humiliation stops life.
tapping ~ susan
Become unhumiliatable.

- no matter what.

him and her ~ a place to PRACTICE -

cuz i love you
and do not see what they see..

they told you – you are crazy.

felt crazy
misdiagnosed
hallucinations /noises /awake dreaming / paralysis/ lost time -
sleeping / not sleeping. anorexia.

protection right now

a few phrases to cover all bases: for 1 day, then 2 …
‘Please don’t interrupt my quite time.’
‘leave me alone right now.’
‘I’ll think about that’
‘I need to concentrate now’

******

life without humiliation
sun rise
me – as good as the sun
U pull my strings
you get tangled.
i cut them

love.
barbara